Even though we have happy memories of holiday celebrations, the actual holiday season often winds up being stressful. The expectation that everyone be cheerful can be especially tough for older adults who used to be in charge of making the holidays merry, and who may have had a change in circumstances making things anything but.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, socially isolated older adults are at a higher risk of depression. The focus on family, friends and togetherness during this time of year can actually bring melancholy feelings to the forefront for many. It’s more important than ever to be supportive of and attentive to our loved ones, but in ways that keep everyone as healthy and safe as possible.
While you are likely busy with your own holiday plans and traditions, now is an important time to remember what the holiday season is truly about! If you believe that an aging parent, friend or neighbor may be lonely or depressed, make an effort to help lift their spirits!
- Deliver hot chocolate, mulled cider or eggnog and cookies.
- Play or sing holiday music to set a festive mood.
- Encourage children, grandchildren and aging loved ones to do things together like baking treats, reminiscing over photos, singing Christmas carols, or holiday crafts.
- Dig out the treasured holiday ornaments of your older family members. Talk about each piece with them as they are taken out.
- If they cannot actively participate in decorating the home, ask them where they would prefer a certain piece to be placed. This is especially important for people who are confined to a certain space. Prioritize their favorite items by where they can be seen and most enjoyed.
- Help with holiday cards or letters.
- Be on the lookout for cards or other correspondence they receive that might come bearing news of illness or passing of friends or loved ones. There’s no obligation to protect an older adult from reality, but it is important to manage the news and keep an eye out for signs of depression. Offer support if there’s a funeral they wish to attend or a visit with a friend.
- Start hosting the meals and have them join or take the celebration to them. Reducing their workload can help them better appreciate the time together.
- Help them with their holiday shopping. If their abilities are limited, offer to shop for them or help them with online purchases.
- Wrap presents together.
- Encourage your older loved ones to share their stories of holidays past. Passing on memories is a great way to bring families together!
- Dress for the occasion! Does your older loved one enjoy holiday clothes, festive sweaters, fuzzy socks, creative jewelry? Bring them out in stages to keep them feeling as if something fun and new is always arriving.
- For really large gatherings, consider using name tags. I personally find this helpful, and your aging loved ones will really appreciate it!
Along with the normal stresses of the holidays, this season is also often a time when families realize that an older loved one has significantly declined. If it has been some months since you last saw this person, it could be alarming! And this could indicate a need for more care or support.
Here are some “red flags” to look for:
- Changes in their home environment. Do you see scorched cookware, spoiled food in the fridge, or the space being less organized?
- Sudden weight loss or gain. Is your loved one showing signs of health-related issues, mobility loss, decrease in appetite?
- Unpaid bills. Is your loved one forgetting about routine tasks like making payments regularly? Are they showing signs of memory loss or could there be financial strain?
- Physical frailty. Is this older adult having trouble with day-to-day movement such as climbing stairs? Do they lack balance while walking? Are they falling frequently?
- Mood changes. Anxiety, depression or hyperactivity can indicate a medication problem or general decline in well-being. Gently discuss what might be bothering them to see how to provide support.
- Medication misuse. This is probably one of the top reasons I get calls for help with aging loved ones! Is an older adult forgetting to take medications, or doubling up because they forget dosing?
Try not to be patronizing when checking on them! It is important to protect the dignity of our loved ones and remember that they are entitled to live however they desire as long as it is SAFE. They may feel embarrassed or self-conscious about their decline. They may know they’re hoarding, forgetting to take their medicine, or falling a lot – but are trying to hide it.
This is where adding in help from Care Advantage can make the difference! Instead of you taking on the role of “parent” or getting caught in arguments with your loved one about them living alone, we can take that off your plate by keeping them safe at home. And as that third party expert, your loved one may be more inclined to listen to our care advice. I experienced it first-hand with my own parents—you might find your loved ones value a second opinion.
We can help older adults with decorating for the holidays, handling mail, baking, shopping, gift wrapping, and more! But more importantly, we help alleviate hospital readmissions with falls prevention and ensuring compliance with nutrition, medications, hydration, and exercises. We are there to help them maintain their independence in the way they want – aging in place wherever home may be!
If you have noticed a decline in a loved one – or if you have a patient or resident who this article has made you think of – reach out to us to learn more and see how we can make the holidays much brighter for everyone!
